Category Archives: Life

Amber Glow

Some pictures from before our trip, some from after; a jumble. Whirlwind life. I can’t keep up. Autumn was just starting to creep in when we left our mostly green land, we came back to full swing blazing glory, fast forward a week and most of the trees were bare and talk of winter suddenly seems natural and fitting. But where did autumn go? I must have blinked.

My garden and I are estranged. It’s an uncomfortable and lonely feeling. I’m doubtful that at this late date any of my awkward attempts at reconciliation will be fruitful.

We got our very first egg, the day before we left, and have had a small, but steady supply since. But there has been chicken drama. Did I mention before that we added to our flock? I wanted no roosters, we now have three. Which I guess is what I get for allowing the kids to make our poultry transactions. Two have been well behaved, one has not and that one of course is an especial favorite of the older boys and something of a terror to younger folks.

A garden inspired dinner; steak and zucchini, with a basil paste and roasted garlic. I read in a book about cutting zucchini julienne before pan frying, instead of in rounds, because it allows it to actually brown. Cooked simply this way with just a squirt of lemon juice? Amazing. I can not stop eating it.

Turmeric Switchel; looks like orange juice, tastes like burning. I jest, I jest! But probably an acquired taste for most, though very helpful for an energy boost and pain relief.

funny little note: I just looked at the recipe again, as I linked to it, and I’ve been making it for weeks with double the spices! I just may need it that strong anyway.

Knitting has been a whirlwind also. My sweater, still missing it’s measly button band, was cast aside. The shawl has been blocked and worn a great deal and loved, but not photographed at all. By the end of tonight I will have four bonnets in need of blocking. The toddler sweater needs grafting and steeking; two things I readily admit to habitually procrastinating on, but there is a time limit on this one, so I’ll have to suck it up some time this week.

For all of my talk, I haven’t sewn at all and really must get to it. I think I may have inadvertently bit off more than I can chew re: Halloween this year.

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By Melody

October 22, 2016

Food, Gardens, Kids, Life, Yarn Crafts

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While we were away….

The last picture is of our arrival back home.

It was the week we discovered Seraphina’s love of slides. On the way down the sky worked up a sampler as we encountered every kind of cloud imaginable. I randomly took pictures of and off bridges. We collectively discovered that while virtually useless in the country, when stuck in the suburbs, sidewalk chalk may well be one of the best things ever invented. I knitted a whole shawl, from start to finish, in less than a week, then cast on a cool weather cardigan for our littlest one. My hands ached with knitting. It’s possible that a simple textured shawl may be just about the most perfect sort of travel knitting. We visited with sisters and aunts and uncles and grandparents. Memories were made.

It was not easy. Three of seven days in and lacking a co-parent, I found myself with three children who wanted to go home and one who wasn’t keen on coming in the first place. I coaxed and spoke of visits with Grandma and a trip to the Renaissance Faire. They rallied. Somewhat. For segments of time. The “better period” lapsed. My mother got sick. A migraine set in. Everywhere was loud; trains and traffic and sirens, and crowded and smelling of exhaust and lawn spray. I’m sure all that was true on our last visit, but is just seemed so much more so this time. Towards the end of the (marathon) week I started having visions of myself walking through my own front door, collapsing on the floor in tears of relief and fervently vowing never to leave the house again. For a twist, I actually found myself sitting on my parent’s living room floor, the morning before returning home, after a grand total of 1 1/2 hours sleep, crying over what I’m not even sure I know. Many people needed different things from me and it was not possible to accommodate them all. There was heartbreak. It all seemed very tragic at the time. And no, this is not how I usually behave. My nerves were just that frayed. Sensory over-load. Too many, too fragile people to hold the space for. As it turns out, we were decidedly not ready for travel just yet.

Coming home we left what felt like August and drove on into November. I didn’t weep or make any dramatic declarations, but after the car was unpacked and the kids sent off to bed, I did sit with a cup of tea and stare at the fire for a good long while.

It’s chilly here now. We missed peak foliage at the pond. I’ve been thinking of making Mairi Rose a winter coat. Quite suddenly it seems to be time to stop thinking and start sewing or come up with a plan B. I’m glad and ready to be back home with my sewing machine.

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By Melody

October 15, 2016

Kids, Life, Mothering, snapshots, WIP, Yarn Crafts

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cloaked in goldenrod

“She watched her little ones walk around their only world, the one that she was creating. She hoped that the wars within her would not break upon their delicate shores.” ~Marie Mielke, Soul Gardening: Issue 18

I’ve always been a collector of quotes, but I find I am especially so just now.

Yes, I’m rather obsessed with the chickens. But mostly I wanted portraits of each of them to include in my garden journal. One of the roosters tried to crow for the first time a couple of weeks ago and let out this hilarious half-crow, half-squawk that made Elijah and I look at each other and burst out laughing. It has improved since then….if you can consider loud, jarring noises…occurring regularly…. during the only hours I have a shot at sleeping, an improvement. Seraphina’s crow is improving as well. She hides her face in the hem of my skirt and, “ruh-rah-rah-rah-roo”s her heart out. I don’t know why her face must be covered with my skirt to do this, but apparently it must. Mothers know so little really.

A single golden, glorious day, where, at least for a little while, all seven of us were together and well enough to be out and about.

Our new batch of sauerkraut includes both red and green cabbage, beets and carrots and looks like a big jar of confetti. For a quick meal last week I seasoned ground beef, kind of as I would for tacos and served it over yams with fried onions, chopped cucumber, and veggie cheese. That one is going on the meal plan, for ease if nothing else. Though really it was quite delicious and hearty as well. Radishes, grated carrot, fresh herbs, avocado, all sorts of things could go on top.

Between us, we collaboratively made a new set of napkins. There were five of us working on them in one way or another, but I think Iain ended up doing most of the sewing. I have another set in a coordinating print all cut out and waiting for a rainy day.

Our back door has been broken for a while, but it’s now to the point where I can literally put my hand through to the outside. I found a potentially beautiful wooden one to replace it, but it required a great deal of attention. Every night for a week, while dinner cooked or the kids did their after-meal chores, I’d go out and work for 45 minute or so. It’s nearly ready now.

Elijah is trying to grow a giant pumpkin. It got a late and rough start. While I don’t think it’s going to end up county fair worthy, it is filling out and shaping up to be the biggest pumpkin we’ve ever grown.

A new nature study necklace for my shop, which is now open, though I’m still in the process of setting it up.

I’ve made a reservation for two nights in November at a tiny lakeside cabin nearby. It’s to be a big surprise for the children. I don’t know when I’ve ever needed a vacation more. I’m now eager to finish my sweater, as I picture myself wrapped in it while watching mist rise off the water, sitting on the cabin porch, steeping in the scent of pine trees, chilled damp earth, and wood smoke. I only have one button band left to go. And pockets. I do believe it shall have pockets.

It’s such a hard season to keep up with posting regularly. This happens every year around this time. I think I usually get into a groove again in October? Meanwhile, I find myself not getting around to it day after day and then putting out these massive monster catch-up posts every two weeks. Such is life.

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By Melody

September 23, 2016

Food, Gardens, Kids, Life, sewing, snapshots, WIP, Yarn Crafts

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Wrapped in Flannel: Part 2, now with words!

Iain took a stab at fixing the space bar and it now more or less works, provided you strike it just right.

And now for the items left unsaid on the last post…My second to last pair of pajama pants disintegrated just days before the big labor day fabric sales. With the ability to purchase flannel at around $2.50 a yard, I thought it was time to treat myself to some new jammies. But evidently my commitment was only tentative, because my shopping trip turned out much the way it usually does. My plan was to make myself two nightgowns and three pairs of pajama pants. Which seems reasonable enough. But as I approached the cutting table, I started to get nervous about spending money at all and specifically on myself, so I decreased the amount of, or completely eliminated, the fabric that was slotted for projects for me, while leaving the fabric that was meant for the children.

The result being that when I got home, I discovered that this green flannel, originally intended for a nightie that I was really excited about, was the only length of fabric big enough to cut a pair of women’s pajama pants out of. So I made them, with a pang of regret for the much wanted, but less needed nightgown. And as soon as they were off the machine, I slipped out of the tattered leggings I was wearing, depositing them directly into the trash, and slipped into these. I would probably be wearing them still, if I hadn’t been called upon to leave the house. And even so, I spent some time considering if they could pass for trousers.

The bottoms situation is getting a little dire. By the end of last week I was down to this pair of leggings, the afore mentioned “last pair” of not-long-for-this-world pajama pants and this new pair of pajama pants. Which does not quite seem to be enough. In desperation, I did finally try to fix the waistband on the olive leggings and managed to put a few holes in them in the process. Word to the wise: velour does not like to be unpicked. But they are more wearable than they were.

I think the problem is two-fold. One: it’s much harder to piecemeal together pants from what one might have around and, as mentioned, I have trouble investing in fabric (or clothing) for myself. Of all of my Handcrafted Wardrobe projects so far, I’ve purchased fabric for one of them. And that felt like a huge, somewhat guilt inducing, treat to myself. Everything else has been made from whatever I have around. And two: pants are boring. At least the pants I wear are. And as much as I might need them, I’d rather dream up and sew a dress or a top instead. All the same, I think it’s clear what my priority needs to be!

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By Melody

September 21, 2016

Life, Mama Care, sewing, The Handcrafted Wardrobe

The First Week of (Home) School

Homeschooling quote of the week: “I am not talking to myself, I’m hosting an impromptu parent-teacher conference”

We managed a little walk in the woods together, I believe for the first time all summer. And a trip to the pond as well. In a normal year we would go from the end of spring, through the beginning of autumn at least once a week for the better part of the day. I think this was only our third 1-2 hour visit of the year, so it felt like a big deal. The teeny-tiny people on the teeny-tiny island out in the middle there are my great-big boys. We came home with a bucket full of treasures and much to detail in our nature journals.

I’m not squeamish about snakes, and I say this as someone who has been bitten by a snake- everyone present freaked out, I found it totally (perhaps morbidly?) fascinating (it didn’t hurt at all, it was crazy to see this thing attached to me and the fang marks on my arm were pretty cool). Snakes don’t bother me, except when there is the possibility of an overlap between bare baby feet and poison/fangs. Last summer Steve and Iain were pretty sure they spotted a copperhead sunning itself in our squash garden. And while I don’t mind snakes, I’m also not particularly knowledgeable about them, though we all learned quite a bit in this last week. So we were very cautious around and in identifying this neonate that we found on the driveway. Thankfully, from what we can tell, this one appears to be a type of brown snake, and therefore harmless. Unlike the poisonous “White Baneberry”, also known as “Doll’s Eye’s” (Actaea pachypoda) that we came across later in the woods.

My first batch of apple themed books came in from the library. Emily of New Moon is not, in fact, apple related, but with the pretty apple speckled cover on this edition, it fit right in.

We started school a week earlier than usual this year, because there have been some big changed in our little homeschool. With the intention of earning an official high-school diploma in a couple years time, Iain is now enrolled in a virtual high-school. Classes started for him this week and I wanted to be sure we had a bit of time together, to ease into the school year, before so much of his day was taken up in a room closed off from us. This is a totally new experience for our family. So far it has been much more time intensive for me than I was anticipating!

Speaking of time, there is none. Ever again. In August I sat and got my homeschool binder in order and it seems our calendar is full to bursting, and still going strong three to four months out. I refuse to look beyond that point. I’m not sure how this is even possible.

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By Melody

September 9, 2016

Food, Homeschooling, Kids, Life

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The Handcrafted Wardrobe: Simplicity Seeking

First off, I want to say thank you for all of the kind comments on my last post. I’ve read them all, several times. And I wish I had the time to write back to each of you, but that’s just not possible right now. I sincerely thank you for the words of comfort, encouragement and support.

This week I’ve been planning a handcrafted wardrobe on a smaller scale, for my dear Mairi Rose, who is very much in need of clothing for the autumn. I came up with a pretty simple plan with just a handful of different patterns and shapes: a basic sweatshirt-tunic type thing*, a playdress, leggings. I have a pajama pattern that I might alter to make her a pair or two of elastic waist slacks with elastic gathers at the ankles in a sturdy fabric for hiking and climbing trees and that sort of thing. And I think I’ll do a basic, quick and easy peasant dress for nighties and maybe cut it short for a blouse or two. I’m really proud of myself for keeping my plans minimal and reasonably do-able.

I realized that this sort of simplicity is really what I need within my own wardrobe making endeavors. A set of capsule patterns for a capsule wardrobe. Easier said than done.

I was once invited to join a group of dear women in encouraging each other to be creative. While I was honored to be asked and delighted to be involved with these lovely women, I was totally baffled by the idea of needing encouragement in this area. Frankly, if people really wanted to help me out, they would create some sort of support group that teaches people to resist creative urges. Or perhaps find something that could just siphon off all those surplus creative juices that so often turn me into an inspiration fueled crazy person. Because, like so many other areas of my life, this is what happens when I come up with a good basic plan…. the “and maybe…”s start up. And maybe I’ll make this alteration to that pattern and this one and that one, effectively turning into drafting an entirely new pattern, which is neither quick, nor easy, nor simple. Or I’ll come up with a collection of basic patterns and maybe decide that I should just add in a few other ones just for fun and maybe a few to add interest, etc., and it snowballs.

Less stress, streamlined sewing, comfortable basics, these are really what I need right now, so I must find a way to gag the muse and get on with it. Perhaps if I just keep uttering the words, “Keep it simple, keep it simple, keep it simple” over and over again?

Do you think you could come up with core patterns to be repeated for a basic wardrobe and stick to it? What would you include?

*I now see that this pattern has been retired, so back to the drawing board on that one.

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An InLinkz Link-up

By Melody

September 5, 2016

Kids, Life, sewing, The Handcrafted Wardrobe, WIP

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Confessions of a Frazzled Mother

I was scrolling back through recent posts, looking for something, and I got drawn into reading a bit here and a bit there. And all I could think was, “For goodness sake. Out with it woman! Come on now!” How ridiculous it must be for you as the reader to be subjected to all of these posts with their little cryptic hints and glimpses. So I gave myself a stern talking to in which I told myself to either explain the situation or shut up already. In truth I didn’t mean to mention any of this here at all, it just somehow seeped into my writing unbidden.

My issues with sharing this particular subject are that I don’t think I can succinctly explain the situation. There are matters of privacy and stories that aren’t really mine to tell. And it’s just depressing, which is not what you come here for and not what I want out of this space.

The very short version is that one of our children has been quite ill, for a long time now. Over a year now struggling with various issues, with the last six months being desperately intense. Thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of tests and treatments have not yielded much in the way of answers or improvement. We know that Lyme Disease is a factor. We know that EDS is probably contributing to the situation. We know that there are some heart issues that may or may not have been triggered by Lyme. But on the over-all picture, including why the logical treatments aren’t really having the desired effects, we’re still somewhat in the dark.

In the last 14 months, quite apart from on-going EDS/POTS issues, I’ve had two cases of lyme/babesiosis myself (If you’ve not heard of it, babesiosis is tons of fun. It’s basically like having malaria). Steve who is usually a rock health-wise has been dealing with his own complicated medical issues, also still unresolved. That’s not even counting the constant barrage of minor issues that are bound to come up in a house full of seven people.

All of this comes after several years in a row of what felt like one endless health crisis after another. Just to give you a feel, some of the highlights from last year alone included a stroke scare, worries over a potential aneurysm, three herniated discs, three members of the family requiring extensive cardiac work ups, followed by a recommendation of heart surgery for one, a sleep apnea diagnosis, concerns about a potential hole developing in a major blood vessel in my brain, and grounds for a dementia screening when a particularly fierce strain of Lyme went to my brain and I had trouble remembering what a month even was, much less what month it was. Just to name a few. Folks, I’m fried. We all are. It’s just too, too much. And it’s been too, too much for too, too long.

What this means right now is that for three-four of the last six months I’ve had a child who can do next to nothing during the day and who is up literally all night, every night, in pain. And by all night I mean until 5, 6, 7 am or later. With the months on either end featuring maybe a good week or two where things seemed like they were getting back on track, followed by a decline ending right back where we started. As the sole night time parent this means I’ve been up all night on every occasion. Thankfully, Steve is able to take the early morning shift, from 3:30 or so on, on the weekends. But with four other children, I can’t exactly sleep away the weekdays. I’ve been tied to home, deprived of sleep, driven to desperation and frankly on the verge of collapse.

We’re in a “better” period just now. Where I’m getting that last child off to bed once and for all by between 12:30 and 2 most nights. With the child having a degree of wellness during the daytime that we can work with. That picture above was taken just before two in the morning, when I finally had a chance to sit down to correct the day’s school work and prepare for, well, later that same, seemingly endless, morning.

I’ve honestly been very anxious, depressed and over-whelmed within this whole situation, though I am trying hard to fight it.

All the knitting and sewing and “where does she find the time?” projects? This is what I do because I need to be near by, I need to force myself to stay awake, and I just don’t have the strength or brain power to do anything more. And while my little projects are immensely comforting to me, I assure you I would far prefer a well child, a bit ‘o peace of mind and a good night’s sleep.

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By Melody

August 30, 2016

EDS / POTS, Homeschooling, Kids, Life, Mothering

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Holding and Held

What to say? Galen has started work on Christmas presents. Cucumbers and zucchinis are coming in. The chickens are getting big…soon there will be eggs. It remains to be seen whether or not we will be able to eat them. At a time of year when most other gardens, ours included, are a fiery mass of colors, our front garden is having it’s white moment. It’s calmly beautiful, though short lived. My favorite crimson rose is about to bloom again.

I’ve barely been knitting at all. My head is swimming with lesson plans and meal plans and sewing projects and cold weather house preparations to be made. I’m envious of mothers that have childless periods of time in which to think and work uninterrupted. I could be so much more effective if I had the mental and physical space to plan and prepare.

The chickens aren’t the only ones growing. I’m keenly aware that not just one, but two of my children will be able to vote in not the current, but the next presidential election! I have two high-schoolers this year. Iain is actively working through the state required steps for getting his driver’s license. This growing children thing is getting serious!

My “baby” is no longer a baby, but an extremely active, clever and mischievous young girl, perhaps the very 2ist two year old I’ve ever encountered. Last week when she was doing something naughty and being quite cheerful about it, I told her it wasn’t funny and she looked at me and replied, “I laughin’…”

This week marked a right of passage for my oldest daughter as well. After many months of comments like, “There are only two people in dance class who don’t have their ears pierced. You know who they are? Me and Galen.” And being assured that having pierced ears makes for a loving sister, with a sunny disposition, who does her chores without complaint and always remembers to put her clothes in the hamper, etc. We finally agreed to take her to get her ears pierced.

Not being one to take for granted that the conventional way of doing things is always the best way and feeling really uncomfortable with the idea of some random kid at the mall putting holes in my child’s body, I did my research first. Based on what I read, I decided that a professional piercer using traditional methods (as in a needle, not a gun) was the way to go for our family.

I nervously gave her some relaxing and pain relieving herbs in the waiting room before hand. She didn’t even bat an eye. She didn’t flinch or whimper or cry, her eyes didn’t well up…she was just totally chill. That girl is pretty hardcore. We’re using chamomile tea bag compresses now, in addition to regular saline rinses, to help with healing and reduce the risk of infection. She’s pleased as punch. I don’t think there has ever been a gift she’s liked so much.

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By Melody

August 25, 2016

Gardens, Kids, Life, Mothering, sewing, snapshots

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harvesting and a sweater for every occation

The garlic is in and at least a few blueberries made it to the freezer. I had really hoped to make it back to the blueberry farm again by now. We thought the tiny girl would just park herself somewhere and gorge away, blueberries being her very favorite. But she took her task very seriously and was determined to fill her own little basket. She went off on her own (we kept an eye on her of course). We kept asking if she wanted to pick with one of us and she would reply, “No, I pickin’ with myself!”

It’s birthday sweater season, where my knitting project is dependent on who happens to be in the room with me. I have one color work sweater where I feel completely certain about the color selection, but nervous about the pattern and a second one where I’m completely at ease with the pattern, but nervous about the color selection.

I actually haven’t started Iain’s sweater yet. My gauge is so horrendously off that I haven’t had the courage to face it. Ravelry had the wrong yarn weight listed and I was silly enough not to double check with the pattern. Every time I sit down to try and figure it out I think,”OR I could just pick up one of these sweaters I already have started and have a nice relaxing knit. Yes, that does sound quite good.” And I do just that.

It occurred to me that this is my last week of summer in which to accomplish anything. Next week our schedule explodes and we are thrust into a full scale, full on, hectic autumn schedule. Where did the summer go???

I’ve been frantically trying to get the house and our lives together, but I’m so easily sidetracked. My ridiculous mind keeps having nagging thoughts like, “hmm, maybe we should try to paint the bathroom real quick?” A perfect example: yesterday I sat down on the futon with a basket of fabric to sort through. As I was cutting off scrappy ends and tossing them into a trash bag, I was acutely aware of the flat throw pillow I was leaning on. Let’s just say that the situation escalated and Steve came home from work to find me sitting in the middle of a huge pile of stuffing and bits of random fabric, pulling apart packed together fibers and blistering my hands chopping scraps up into teeny-tiny little flecks. These things happen, right? I’m happy to say that we do now have three fluffy pillows to recline on at the end of our long hard days. Of course, they are now too big for their pillow cases, so there is that….

I’m sometimes alarmed by how much my life resembles an episode of I Love Lucy.

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By Melody

August 18, 2016

Gardens, Kids, Life, snapshots, WIP, Yarn Crafts

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“Chook, chook, chook, chook, chook

Good Morning, Mrs. Hen, How many chickens have you got? Madam, I’ve got ten. Four of them are yellow, and four of them are brown and two of them are speckled red, the nicest in the town.” ~Nursery Rhyme, a favorite with a certain little someone just now.

The coop is complete and now home to eight happy hens (though we are not sure that all of them are hens, two are growing decidedly rooster-ish): Dilly, Captain, Miss Pecks-a-Lot, Monty, Juliette, Buffy, Alys and Vita. The last two being named by me after two of my favorite gardeners.

Elijah designed the coop and Steve, Iain and Elijah built it. My sole contribution was to interrupt them when they were making excellent progress to drastically slow them down by requesting they cut scallops in that trim piece, which looked far more charming in my head and far less like the awning of an ice cream shop. Do I redeem myself at all by relaying that since these pictures we’ve added shutters and I ripped all of the wood for them? Probably not.

I’m quite enjoying keeping chickens, with the notable exceptions of the pooping on my front steps and eating of my hostas.

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By Melody

August 9, 2016

building, Gardens, Kids, Life, Our Home

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