This post is dedicated to all of the lovely ladies who in past correspondence have greatly amused me by somehow implying that I “have it all together” or “seem to do it all”….

Today we had plans to meet with some friends, at our favorite swimming spot, for the first time this season. It was about 45 minutes before the appointed time that it dawned on me that my baby still did not have a sun hat. Not only that, but the natural sunscreen that I had order hadn’t come in yet. It was with this knowledge that I decided that I simply needed to make a hat. Now obviously, a normal, reasonable person would not have come to this conclusion. Dear friends, if you have not figured it out thus far, it is time to acknowledge the plain fact that I am neither normal, nor reasonable. My efforts went something like this…

With 45 minutes to spare, while still in my pajamas and without having in anyway prepared the kids for going, I decided to do a “quick search” on-line to try to track down a free bonnet pattern (yes, a bonnet for a boy. get over it). Here I feel it’s important to mention that we have an archaic dial-up connection…there is no such thing as a quick search. My searching having yielded nothing more the lost time, I decided to take matters into my own hands. With 30 minutes left I started sketching out mock-up patterns on the back of a paper bag. Luckily, Galen found my wrapping paper about his head thoroughly humorous. It only took two tries to get the approximate shape and fit. Must find fabric. A couple of minor avalanches of craft supplies later and fabric was obtained. Do these two fabrics actually match? Yeah, sure, why not…try not to think too much about it. Place paper mock-up on fabric, no time for pins….”Can someone get me a pencil???” No, apparently someone can not. Hold down “pattern” with foot while trying to hack the fabric around it using the only dull-bladed scissors I could get my hands on at the time. Vow to search high and low for missing sewing scissors upon our return. Try to playfully hold back baby with other foot so that he doesn’t pull fabric out from underneath me. The rough edges are just going to be sewn on the inside anyway, right? Right. Gather up all the pieces, sit at the sewing machine, look at the clock and try not to cry. Be thankful that machine was already threaded with green thread. Try not to think too much about whether or not it actually matches.

Start sewing two layers of fabric and a layer of interfacing, none of which appear to be the same size or shape. Start talking to kids about walking very quickly….send them off to get ready. Most of the way through sewing the edges be informed that the shorts that Elijah was to wear had been used to clean up a spill earlier in the day and that there are no other shorts or swimsuits in his drawer. Can…only…put…out…one…fire….at….a….time…. Tactfully delegate. Be vaguely aware of children gleefully hacking the legs off a pair of holey jeans with the same afore mentioned dull scissors. Check clock again. Stifle expletive. Turn bonnet right side out. Set machine to start top stitching. See baby falling in periphery. Inadvertently shout formerly repressed expletive, while simultaneously leaping into the air, sending bonnet flying. Attempt to top stitch around nursing toddler. Bribe comforted toddler with food.

Try not to think too much about the wrinkles. Pretend that top stitching done without pressing or pinning really will look ok. Look at clock. Gasp. Try not to panic. Send boys to get towels. No time for the cute button back closure I spotted in a book. Quickly, tack back closed. Can add button later…. Again emphasize the importance of walking quickly. Rapidly begin stitching a twill tape band and ties. Break needle. Bite lip. Drop three bottles of glue while getting down new needle. Take straight pins away from baby. Finish sewing ties. Will trim to proper length later…. Check clock again. Pray that “walking quickly” makes up for lost time. Change clothes. Run upstairs. Stand perfectly still for one full awestruck moment marveling at the fact that one of the, two total outfits, the baby has clean perfectly matches new bonnet. One of the wonders of left over fabric. Laugh to self. Laugh at self. Yup, that’s me…I’ve got it all together.…see?

Dress baby. Round up boys. Learn that Elijah has misplaced his sun hat (no, don’t even think it, I’m not that crazy). Send boys to search the back of the closet for an old straw hat of mine while I finish packing. Set out somewhat pleased with myself that we would be arriving at a fairly reasonably time and with everyone having exactly what they need for our excursion. Walk half a mile before glancing down at the naked little toes peaking out of the back carrier on either side of my hips. Who needs shoes for swimming anyway???