Yet another old FO. I currently have many projects that are almost done. I’ve been so busy since we started our school year that I haven’t had a chance to pay attention to all of the fussy finish work, I just keep starting new things! Soon though, soon. And in the meantime…

It started out innocently enough. One day in November, I ran into my favorite local yarn store to quickly grab a pattern. Steve was waiting in the car with the kids, and I had already hit my body’s quota on that unique yarn store essence (mordant and old lady?? I shouldn’t joke, I’d probably love it if it didn’t make me ill…). Any lengthy amount of time in there and I wouldn’t just be hacking up a lung, I’d be laid out on the floor (oh, for an all organic yarn store! If only wishing made it so! but I digress…). There I am, at the table, frantically paging through the pattern book looking for the right sweater, when this thing rolls across the table, bumping the back of my hand. So, I pick it up and there in my hands is the-cutest-freakin-little-thing-I’ve-ever-seen. It’s this little hedgehog, with the sweetest face and crazy sticking out bristles everywhere. All I could think was I simply have to make this for Elijah! Have to. There is no way around it. Must be done. There. It’s decided.

Some of you might remember that for a while there Elijah believed there to be a baby hedgehog living in our wood pile. Said hedgehog lived with “red squirrel’s baby” and the two of them had all kinds of adventures together. Adorable that…

Anyhow…

Sweater pattern in hand, I stumbled back to the car and spent the rest of the of the ride home trying to wrap my foggy brain (oxygen deprivation will do that to you. your thought process becomes similar to what it would be if you were, say, really, really drunk) around my new plan.

Problem one, involved time. Lack of it, to be precise. It was only a couple of weeks until the holidays and my to-do list was starting to resemble the rough draft for “War and Peace”. This I solved by taking a several weeks hiatus from sleeping.

Problem two, stemmed from children and their innate (hypersensitive) sense of justice. Galen was already getting a mama made doll. Now Elijah was getting a mama made stuffed animal, therefore Iain must receive something of a similar value and quality. It’s true that having multiple children gives you a crash course in equity and sibling math. Luckily, Fiber Trends also has a pattern for a felt squirrel. At the time we were working with the Christopherus First Grade Syllabus. The math block that we would be starting after the holidays involved a story about a squirrel, using nuts as a manipulative to solve problems. Problem number two solved, with a possible need to revisit problem #1.

Problem three turned out to be the kicker. The pattern called for fur novelty yarn. I’m a stickler for natural fibers. Try as I might (and I tried and tried and tried) I could not find a yarn that would work made from a natural fiber. Finally I found a hand-painted silk eyelash yarn on ebay, in an auction that was just about to end. There were no colors that would be appropriate for either a squirrel or a hedgehog. I shifted gears and decided that they would be of animals of the magical, mystical sort (who says I’m inflexible?), then snatched up the yarn and begged the seller to sent it quickly. It showed up in record time, but was not what I had hoped for (no time to ask questions before bidding remember). Beautiful yarn. Nearly useless for this particular project. First off, it was very, very thin. Secondly, the fuzz was very short. One of these days I will develop whatever trait it is that lets you know when you’ve been beaten, but as of yet I’ve remained undeterred…

So, I knit everything up….using five strands at a time (don’t even try to picture the tangle of balls, you’ll just end up with a headache…). Back down at the old house to felt them and things are not going well. The hedgehog is doing his part, but the squirrel is being very disagreeable. Finally I’m getting too ill to continue and must leave it as “good enough”.

He was mistaken for a beaver on Christmas morning, by the way…

The huge mutant red squirrel, here to eat all of the other squirrels.

His name is now Fred and he lives in Iain’s top bunk. I recently thought I might try to felt him a bit more, but Iain was upset by the suggestion and insists that he likes him “just the way he is”.

Neither or them turned out anywhere near fuzzy enough….even with my efforts to manually pry up all of the little “hairs” that seemed to flatted out during the felting process. Still, I thought they were kind of cute. They had the potential to be lovable as they were. I mean that is what imagination is for, right? Right.

Ah, but then came my fatal mistake. I made another quick stop at the yarn store. And I saw the original hedgehog again. And it was ever, ever so much cutter the my hedgehog. The thought stayed with me, in the back of my head and ate away at me. It festered and provoked me to no end. Which is how Steve came to find me, late Christmas Eve night, manually applying single bristles, wig making style. I stayed up many hours into the early morning and managed to at least get a “mane” to frame his face, before tucking him into bed with Elijah, to be discover at first light.
The result? Well, he’s still not as cute as the original. But he’s got an interesting Tina Turner thing going on, despite still being bald in the back, oh, nine months later…. I still think he’s kind of fun. And hey, “Hedgie” (Jan Brett, anyone?) ended up being one of Galen’s first words, which was pretty darling, so I guess that’s something.

And there you have it! Longest. Failed. Knitting. Story. Ever.

The End