~the view from my window this morning~

Let’s pretend that since I last posted that I just carried along with my semi-idyllic bed rest, reading to little ones and playing games and keeping spirits up.  Not that I ended up in two different hospitals with consultations with countless doctors at both and in between.  Let’s pretend that I’m not still recovering from the general anesthesia and  surgery for something other then the surgery that I am still, as of yet, trying to avoid.  Let’s pretend that I, who never so much as takes cough syrup aren’t on a barrage of medicines that when I’m not in too much pain, knock me out for hours on end or that I wake up crying, for reasons no one, including me understand, before falling back to sleep again.  That the vivid dreams I have during these times aren’t impossible to distinguish from reality.  Let’s pretend that I don’t have another consult for yet more potential surgeries.  Let’s pretend that there are actually days when I’m lucid enough to enjoy my family, that attempting to knit 1/4 of a row or lifting a hardbound book doesn’t exhaust me.  Let’s pretend that I haven’t lost 12 pounds in 2 weeks because between the pain and the pills I just can’t convince myself to eat.  Let’s pretend that on top of it all everyone else in the house, including the main caretaker aren’t in various stages of a nasty cold.  Let’s pretend that none of that is true because I’m having an ok-ish day.  I don’t want to tempt fate by declaring I feel nearly human, but I’ve managed to drop one pill from my regiment (for now) and this is the first day in a while that I’ve felt like my mind and my body are at least a little bit my own.  And so I want to think and talk of anything else…any pretty little everyday thing.

For Christmas this year we couldn’t really think of anything much that the kids needed or really anything that would enrich their lives.  At least nothing that couldn’t be used as stocking stuffers (i.e. art supplies).  And I am still very much on my not wanting to bring random stuff into the house for no reason kick.  So instead of several little gifts, we decided to give one big gift for everyone.  Steve built an ice rink in the front yard, and we updated ice skate for those who needed them.  Building an ice rink is a long, slow process, much more so then you might think, with layer upon layer added over the course of many days, but worth the effort I think.

These pictures are from just after Christmas.  It was really the first official time skating for the younger two, while the other two zoomed in circles around them.  Such a fun first.  I’m so glad I was able to be there.