I’m feeling nest-y lately, for several reasons. Certainly, part of it is pregnancy related. But there is another aspect of it as well. There is also the change in the weather, feelings of wanting to be ready for winter. To have all of the needs and comforts met, as well creating a pleasant, nurturing and stimulating space for dark times to come.

What I really want is for Steve to be able to take a week or two off from work to just help me get the entire house in order. I seriously need some hand-holding in this area. I crave order more then anyone else I know, and yet I am completely inept at achieving it. But that’s not even remotely a possibility. For one thing, we need to save Steve’s vacation time for December. And important things like rearranging shelves, hanging pictures and cleaning windows are currently being put on the back burner in favor of silly little things, like making sure the house is insulated and the wood for heating it all split. So, I am making a meager effort, on my own, at cozying up our little nest. Picking a room and working on it. Trying to do just a little each day.

My current focus is Iain and Elijah’s bedroom. This summer is the first year that they’ve had a room of their own. Being sick forced us into a lot of strange living situations. They were always small and we were always together.

This summer has marked a lot of changes and growth for my two boys. They’ve recently been introduced to the Beatles and a bit of an obsession has been born. Now, I like the Beatles as much as anyone, but if I hear “Birthday” one more time, it is entirely possible that my head will explode! And I still find it endlessly amusing to have Iain walk by me singing “Octopus’s Garden”. Oh, my days of pentatonic lullabies for them are truly over! Their new love has softened the previous Gilbert and Sullivan phase a bit. I don’t think I’ve heard “Cat Like Tread” (of Pirates of Penzance), but a handful of times this past week.

I had a moment, as we all have through our mothering careers, of startling revelation. One of those “oh, my, we really are almost there!” moments. I showed Iain something and saw his face absolutely light up with childish delight, only to have it just as quickly fade as he smoothed himself out and adapted a self-imposed air of nonchalance, shrugging and saying, in dead-pan tone, “It’s nice.” The very picture of an preteen. Wow. And so it begins…

And so it will continue to go. My little ones are not so little anymore and they are really starting that great big journey of growing up. And they need a room that honors where they are at now, while being flexible enough to grow and change and stretch as they do, even when that happens at a remarkably fast pace. And this has been on my mind a lot lately.

I want this first space of their own, their first small taste of independence, to be so special for them. But how does one make something special of an unfinished room? One without electric and full of exposed studs and on a non-existent budget at that? It may well be beyond the realms of my creativity, but one thing is certain, and that is that I am going to try.

And while I’m trying, I’ve been thinking back to the room that should have been theirs during their early years. The one that their father and I were lovingly preparing for them, that they never even got to use. Only a handful of people have ever seen it. I was looking through some old pictures and I wanted to share some with you here.

This is how the room looked, shortly before we moved in…

It was a small, dark, oddly shaped room, tucked under the eaves.

We replaced the window and Steve refinished the floor and we began to paint. We used three different colors on the walls to try to get that lazure affect, which helped to brighten the room, as well as diffuse the intensity of the closely set walls, giving the room a more open feel. And once the walls were done, I started a mural on the slope of the ceiling.

These pictures are dark and it is hard to really see it for what it is.

I wanted to invoke the feeling of a starry night, without overly darkening an already dark room.

Look at how little they look, sitting on the little tree trunk chairs their Daddy cut for them!

Most of the stars on the ceiling were placed randomly, but in two spots (above where I thought their respective beds would be) I put in the constellations of each of their birth signs.

Well that’s it really. That’s pretty much as far as we got. We spent the better part of the summer working on this room and I got sick that fall.

Upward and onward. Time to work on a new room. One that will hopefully see many, many years of use!